Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize