smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
