i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
