I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
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