I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
