I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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