Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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