youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
