and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My ass is underappreciated
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
