so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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