I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
