look no pants
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I want to fling myself into the sun
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
