My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize