there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
