do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
