No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
