Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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