They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wish there were birth control emojis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize