Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
