'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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