doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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