WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
