Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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