i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
