I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
