he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
