please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
