i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
