Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
