You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
