How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
