We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
