I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
