Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
