I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize