There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im holly from the hills drunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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