i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
