Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
