Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
