my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
