I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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