member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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