A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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