does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
