The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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