I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ttyl tear gas
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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