All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
