so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
