Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
