The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
