another moral hangover. fuck.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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