I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
