Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
True strength comes from lack of pants
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
