i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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