Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize