what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
