Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
