Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
