i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
