from now on my penis is your penis
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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