the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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