im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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