I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
should my penis look like a turkey
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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