his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
