There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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