so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize