Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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