think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
