theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize