Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
