Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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