Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
