I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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