my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
