grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
