In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
