Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
