Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
