I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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