My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
