her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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